Sunday, February 24, 2013

To be the only yours, I pray.

Sunday morning, rain is coming.
And somehow my heart is still blue since yesterday evening.
How can you do not understand?
That i'm who'll always there to give you a hand.

Yesterday saturday afternoon was a big disaster. I don't exactly know why, i just feeling blue since i woke up yesterday. And after a dreamy week, i can feel my confidence is going down, down, down.
It is because of him. It's always hard to see him sit aside by another girls, and it's getting harder when that girl, is his close friend. I don't know, friendliness can lead into something right? And my heart is getting tired, and tired, and tired of hoping.
And i don't even tell you what's worse.
We have this teamwork task, and i went to another friend house to do it. By him. With a motorcycle.
And he like didn't say a word about anything, and when i ask something like, 'you mad at me?' he didn't reply with any words, like no or yes.
Absolutely yes.
Yes like, yes, he mad at me.
Yes like, yes, he super mad at me.
It was began with this confrontation i had with his bestfriend ( a boy) about the importance of being in the back seat. And he heard it. And he mad. He was like, super quiet.
And rain was falling down when we arrived at my friend's house.
Since my friend wasn't at home yet, we wait outside her house. And like, still quiet. Awkward.
Then i asked him again, 'do you MAD at me?'
He replied, "you said that you didn't understand why people like x, y and me prefer to being in the back seat. We aren't like you, who can do it (test) everywhere"
'So you mad at me?'
"Think about it by yourself"
'If i say i'm sorry will you forgive me?'
And that was it. I went to the right side, and he went to the left side. Standing side by side under the rain, with no-no-no words. I honestly want to cry and said 'please please please say something' but i can't.
And rain keep falling down.
And after what had happened yesterday i just want to sing I feel pretty/unpretty song and 'Only Hope'. It's like, please, let me be your only one.
And yes, another friends finally arrived at that house and we came in her house. And still, we both keep quiet. And our friends keep asking "'Why are you guys so quiet?"'
The tense was decrease when we did a dance practice. We started to talk with each other. But still................

To be the only yours, i pray.

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